Solo Parenting Compromises

Rob’s been on the road several weeks in a row. I’ve been trying to find that sweet spot where I’m still the parent I want to be but not making my life harder than it needs to be.

I learned the phrase, “let the Wookiee win” from Parent Hacks.

In the name of Letting the Wookiee win, I’ve recently done the following:

Cut back on the crazy when it comes to feeding my daughter healthy food. I’m giving in to a few convenience options and making super-simple recipes more than I had been.

Let my daughter go without a bath longer than usual.

Romy decided she doesn’t want to sit in a chair for breakfast anymore: she’s recently taken to eating in front of her high chair on the lowest setting. I just put her food on the tray and she mostly stands there to eat.

Cut back on the potty training intensity. She initiated potty training a few weeks ago, but is terrible about getting on the potty in the morning. Our mornings are stressful enough. She can have a diaper or put a pull-up on without sitting on the potty and I’ve had to compromise on this.

Where I won’t compromise:
Early bedtime (6:30-7). I was putting her to bed as late as 7:15 for about a week and that was a disaster. Whatever time it freed up between getting home from work & daycare was not worth the tantrums.

Healthy food eaten together at mealtimes.

Family rules: putting your toys away, saying thank you.

It’s really hard to find a great balance. I have beliefs and values when it comes to discipline, education, child care. I don’t want to look back on my early years of parenting and say, “I wish I hadn’t let her get away with that,” and I worry about developing bad habits. But relieving some of the pressure on the points where it doesn’t matter as much to me is helping me deal better. I realized the other week was just lovely because I didnt’ feel so pressured by my own expectations.

2 Responses

  1. I think those are valuable tips for any time you’re on your own. I have a few nights a week J works late and I follow many things you listed above. It falls into my “all in moderation” philosophy. Plus, I just try to balance it the next night with healthier meals or firmer routines. I have backed off the potty training issue for now with G. I figure he’ll eventually want it on his own and until then I have enough going on to not battle with him on it! Hang in there- I’m impressed with how you manage it all :)

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