Have you ever been on a vacation and seen a couple in an obvious argument because of the stress of the trip? Maybe you’ve been there yourself. Even though we are amiable and easygoing people, travel can heighten tension and reveal previously unknown personality differences. Here are a few tips if you want to avoid being left behind in Timbuktu because of a marital misunderstanding:
Part I, Planning:
Prioritize your sites. If you simply can’t miss the Camper store in Barcelona, that’s a priority you have to fit into your plans as much as the Museu de Picasso. For our Australian vacation, for example, we created a list of sites by city, and we chose which we could not miss. This is so much more flexible than planning a day-by-day itinerary, but gives people with different styles a good amount of comfort that their wishes will be honored. In Sydney, we couldn’t miss the zoo or the Opera House, but the Botanic Gardens were a level 2 priority. If we wanted to lounge around on the beach one day instead because we were jet lagged, that was a stress-free option for us.
Plan ahead. Don’t micromanage, but if you notice that a particular tour is only offered during weekdays, make a note on your itinerary. How long will it take to get to the zoo? If it’s an hour-long bus ride, you’ll want to make sure you really have time to go to the beach, too. For the Sydney leg of the Australia trip, I included the neighborhood where many of our wish-list sites were located, so we could plan sightseeing accordingly. It’s not the end of the world if you have to revisit an area, but if your time is limited, it’s very helpful not to have to take the same long bus ride two days in a row because you didn’t realize that the far-away art museum is next to the far-away bar you also wanted to go to.
Plan an activity apart. I mean this especially for married couples, even if it’s your honeymoon! In Hawaii, Rob did a day of diving and I took a spa day. At dinner that night, we actually had more fodder for conversation. After a week or two, everyone needs time alone, but they rarely plan for it, and it might result in bickering.
Manage your expectations before you go. Is this the kind of vacation where the other person expects to have an hour long siesta each day but the other has a full itinerary of cultural lessons? You should know these things ahead of time. You also have to manage your expectations where budget is concerned. Does one person expect to dine out each evening for 12 days? If so, do they realize what that implies regarding your budget?
Part II will be about staying in the moment on the road.
Adapted & Digested from She Has Moxie
Filed under: Life, Practicalities, Travel Tagged: | Relationships
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Good Post! And it’s so important to know where each others’ tolerance levels, hot-buttons, and melt-down points are. I can’t stand wandering around looking for a place to stay and so have learned to take the initiative up front to make arrangements before we arrive (has probably saved the marriage more than once), while there are other things I am really flexible on and let him deal with those issues, so we both feel involved in the decision making in the areas that matter most to each.